Kiss and Tell Live
Tuesday, February 16
Doors 7:00, Show 7:30
Madame X
94 West Houston Street, NYC
(212) 539-0808

11. ART/CRAFT: Knitting needle organization
18. FAMILY and FRIENDS: Spa day with Seth’s mom
19. FAMILY and FRIENDS:  Set up grocery delivery service for Grandma
28. FINANCE: Start a savings account
29. FINANCE: Start collecting information about IRAs
42. HEALTH: Buy a Diva Cup
49. HOME: Organize bathroom cabinet
59. REINVENTION: Light the match on unhealthy relationships
98. WHIMSY: Host a party

Total = 9

STARTED:

30. GIVING BACK:  Donate clothes and food to local shelter every three months
36. HEALTH: Make dinner 3x per week
37. HEALTH: Bring lunch to school
38. HEALTH: Drink 2 liters of water every single day
39. HEALTH: Healthier snacks (bake homemade granola, bring fruit to school, etc.)
50. HOME: Back-up computer files monthly
107. WRITING: Keep an idea notebook

Total = 7

Of the nine things I accomplished this month, the most important to me were setting up the grocery delivery service for my Grandma and lighting the match on unhealthy relationships.

The grocery service was easy to do, but difficult to explain to my sweet, sweet, infuriatingly set in her ways grandma. My grandmother is accustomed to rolling into the grocery store (literally - she uses her wheelchair in public), assaulting people with her cane until she gets what she wants, and rolling out. Gone are the days of her asking nicely for someone to stop pushing, she'd like to look at something; now she just thrusts her cane out to the side, poking at the item she wants. God help the person who gets in her way - I've seen her trip children, poke the knees of men, and simply wipe OUT an entire family.

The notion of ordering groceries without inflicting physical harm on others took a few days of adjustment, but once we went through it together she seemed to truly like the idea.

My grandma loves going out and seeing people; I didn't want to take that away from her. But she is completely dependent on others to come to her house and take her to the store since she doesn't drive, and sometimes the family members who usually take her have to change their plans. I didn't want her to be left without food in the interim. My brother, uncle and mother do a really good job of coordinating runs to the store, mall and movies for my grandma, but they are also busy people with children, full-time jobs, and personal lives to attend to. Helping my grandma set up this service gives her back some of the independence she feared she'd lost in the wake of her ailments and advancing age. She can still go to the store and beat on people; I've just diminished the probability of times we'll have to bail her out.

The unhealthy relationship one is tricky. While I feel lucky that I could only think of one unhealthy relationship that needed attention, it was a relationship that affected much of my life in this town. Without going into too much detail, there is someone who lives here that I'd always been told hated me. As a result, I treated her like, well, someone who hated me, and never gave her a chance at friendship, even though we share NUMEROUS mutual friends. Come to find out that it wasn't true, not at all, and we'd wasted a serious amount of time disliking each other for ridiculous reasons. It was tough on the both of us, but even tougher on our friends. I decided to make amends by inviting her to a party we threw last week; it went swimmingly. I then invited her out for a beer on Friday, just the two of us, to apologize for past behavior, and see if we could just plain GET ALONG. Turns out we have a tremendous amount in common, she's incredibly intelligent and kind, and we are more comfortable with each other than I would've given either of us credit for previously. I feel like we've done more than heal wounds...that we've created a friendship.

Not all unhealthy relationships are easily distinguishable from healthy ones. In the same turn, not all unhealthy relationships need to be ended. Sometimes lighting the match means burning the bitter, ruined outside to reveal the soft tenderness within.